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Despite my continued efforts to better you by yelling at you through a microphone to do better, it is often difficult -- and thus disheartening -- to figure out if any of you damp piles of mulch are actually improving.

I found the answer, in all places, in one of the insipid gun-themed women's magazines Miss Pauling leaves lying around, where I stumbled on an article about self-improvement. It was a revelation: Instead of screaming at you to improve, I could scream at you while you <i>improved yourselves</i>.

I immediately telephoned Mann Co. and demanded to speak to Mister Reddy. Then that lummox Saxton Hale intercepted the call. I tried to explain my idea as patiently as possible, telling him about self-improvement. ("If they're like me, Helen, they're already perfect. And if you take something perfect and make it more than perfect, you get, hell, probably a wormhole or something. Damned scientists. No, I don't like it.") I explained the possibility of mercenaries tracking their own statistics. ("If they're like me, they win 100% of their battles in the best way possible. If they need to remember that, they can write it on their hands like I do.") Several minutes of this and many clumsy pick-up lines later (something about steak dinners), I lost my patience entirely and told him to put his assistant Reddy on the damn phone, and between us we hashed out a plan.

Interested in self-improvement, mercenaries? Of course you are. Read on.

<strong>The Per Diem Perk</strong>

Mister Reddy has prepared <b>three absolutely unique one-of-a-kind hats</b> that will rotate through the mercenary community every day. Who will get them? The three mercs who <b>give the most gifts, win the most duels,</b> and <b>purchase the most map stamps</b> on a given day. Presumably wearing these one-of-a-kind hats will make the winners feel like they've achieved something. Or not, I could give a damn. So long as they make you all better killing machines.

<strong>Strange Parts</strong>

Only found in crates, Strange Parts will help you study specific aspects of (what I charitably call) your performance in battle by letting you customize your favorite Strange weapon. Now you're free to track the number of enemies you gib, projectiles you reflect, heads you've shot, and more. It is Mister Reddy's hope that you will be able to track your performance and celebrate improvements while isolating weaknesses. It is my hope that when you're confronted with the abysmally small numbers you wastes of space are doubtlessly achieving, you'll stop goldbricking around and do something.

Also, Mister Reddy asked me to remind you that Strange Parts are still a work in progress. So if the mood takes you, visit the TF2 forum and let him know what you're interested in tracking. I’m sure he'll do his utmost to accommodate you. Moreso than I would if you came to me with your problems, at any rate, unless your problem is that you love shallow graves and hate breathing.

There. Enough motivation. Now. IMPROVE or I'll DESTROY YOU.

<image src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/one-of-a-kind-hats_small.jpg" width="420" height="274" border="0">

Despite my continued efforts to better you by yelling at you through a microphone to do better, it is often difficult -- and thus disheartening -- to figure out if any of you damp piles of mulch are actually improving.

I found the answer, in all places, in one of the insipid gun-themed women's magazines Miss Pauling leaves lying around, where I stumbled on an article about self-improvement. It was a revelation: Instead of screaming at you to improve, I could scream at you while you improved yourselves.

I immediately telephoned Mann Co. and demanded to speak to Mister Reddy. Then that lummox Saxton Hale intercepted the call. I tried to explain my idea as patiently as possible, telling him about self-improvement. ("If they're like me, Helen, they're already perfect. And if you take something perfect and make it more than perfect, you get, hell, probably a wormhole or something. Damned scientists. No, I don't like it.") I explained the possibility of mercenaries tracking their own statistics. ("If they're like me, they win 100% of their battles in the best way possible. If they need to remember that, they can write it on their hands like I do.") Several minutes of this and many clumsy pick-up lines later (something about steak dinners), I lost my patience entirely and told him to put his assistant Reddy on the damn phone, and between us we hashed out a plan.

Interested in self-improvement, mercenaries? Of course you are. Read on.

The Per Diem Perk

Mister Reddy has prepared three absolutely unique one-of-a-kind hats that will rotate through the mercenary community every day. Who will get them? The three mercs who give the most gifts, win the most duels, and purchase the most map stamps on a given day. Presumably wearing these one-of-a-kind hats will make the winners feel like they've achieved something. Or not, I could give a damn. So long as they make you all better killing machines.

Strange Parts

Only found in crates, Strange Parts will help you study specific aspects of (what I charitably call) your performance in battle by letting you customize your favorite Strange weapon. Now you're free to track the number of enemies you gib, projectiles you reflect, heads you've shot, and more. It is Mister Reddy's hope that you will be able to track your performance and celebrate improvements while isolating weaknesses. It is my hope that when you're confronted with the abysmally small numbers you wastes of space are doubtlessly achieving, you'll stop goldbricking around and do something.

Also, Mister Reddy asked me to remind you that Strange Parts are still a work in progress. So if the mood takes you, visit the TF2 forum and let him know what you're interested in tracking. I’m sure he'll do his utmost to accommodate you. Moreso than I would if you came to me with your problems, at any rate, unless your problem is that you love shallow graves and hate breathing.

There. Enough motivation. Now. IMPROVE or I'll DESTROY YOU.

An update to Team Fortress 2 has been released. The update will be applied automatically when you restart Team Fortress 2. The major changes include:

• Added daily periodic reward hats for duel wins, map stamp purchases, and gifts given
  
• Updated YouTube replay publishing functionality to automatically include a link to the uploader's Steam Community profile
  
• Did not update the localization files that did not need updating
  
• Updated cp_gullywash_final1
  
  
  • Removed ladders that looked like they could be climbed
• Note missed from last week's update:
  • Updated the in-game tips with community submitted versions

An update to Team Fortress 2 has been released. The update will be applied automatically when you restart Team Fortress 2. The major changes include:

• Added The Waxy Wayfinder
  
• Added a new promotional item
  
• Added Strange Parts that can be used to upgrade existing Strange-quality weapons
  
• Updated The Cozy Camper to allow it to be used in Medieval Mode
  
• Double-clicking on a tool in the backpack view will now use that tool
  
• Fixed a bug that would sometimes cause weapons dropped after death to render with incorrect skins
  
• Fixed a bug that would sometimes cause The Manmelter to display incorrect kill icons
  
• Fixed a bug that would cause certain in-game notification sounds to play even if "cl_notifications_show_ingame" was false
  
• Fixed a bug that would cause chat-text strange weapon rank up notifications to sometimes display player names as "unknown"
  
• Increased Steam Workshop item description to 8000 characters
  
• Updated arena_ravine
  • Minor visual and performance improvements
• Updated cp_well
  • Performance improvements
• Lokalisointitiedostot päivitetty
  

Updates to Team Fortress 2, Day of Defeat: Source and Half-Life 2: Deathmatch have been released. The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. The major changes include:


Source Engine Changes (TF2, DoD:S, HL2:DM)

• Fixed IP bans not applying to RCON access
  

Team Fortress 2

• Added The Cozy Camper
  
• Added a new TF2 sub-forum: Competitive Team Play and League discussion
  
• Fixed Solider buffs and rage meters not always being reset
  
• Updated The Black Rose so it can be gift wrapped
  
• Updated The Phlogistinator:
  • Fixed a bug where Mmmph-crit flames could cause Mmmph to build fast enough to allow it to be infinitely chained
    
  • Direct damage reduced by 10%. Afterburn damage is unchanged
    
  • Crit buff time lowered from 12 seconds to 10 seconds
• Updated arena_nucleus
  • Fixed z-fighting bug on lower platform
• Community Requests
  • Added player_carryobject and player_dropobject game events
• http://media.steampowered.com/apps/tf2/blog/7535.png
  

An update to Team Fortress 2 has been released. The update will be applied automatically when you restart Team Fortress 2. The major changes include:

• Added The Nine-Pipe Problem
  
• Added hud_fastswitch to the Advanced Options dialog
  
• Fixed a commentary string that referenced the Soldier instead of the Heavy
  
• Fixed a client crash that could occur when a server used SetCustomModel to change the player model
  
• Fixed a crash that could occur while trying to get The Argyle Sap achievement
  
• General improvements to client stability
  
• Updated the Spirit of Giving so it can have a custom name applied to it
  
• Updated the map arena_well
  • Updated the skybox
    
  • Made some miscellaneous material improvements

An update to Team Fortress 2 has been released. The update will be applied automatically when you restart Team Fortress 2. The major changes include:

• Added The Teufort Tooth Kicker
  
• Fixed being able to call server votes for training maps
  
• Fixed a case where capturing a point in overtime would end the round before time could be added
  
• Fixed not hearing the third-person weapon sounds for The Gloves of Running Urgently, The Overdose, and The Wrap Assassin
  
• Fixed unusual particles appearing in the wrong place for the Desert Marauder
  
• Improved bot behaviors
  
• Updated cp_mountainlab
  • Fixed several clipping issues
• Updated the gamehaptics file:
  • Added draw/swing/stab forces to the Black Rose
    
  • Added missing forces for Three Rune Blade
    
  • Added more detail to butterfly knife draw forces
    
  • Modified Overdose recoil force to more accurately reflect new sound effect
    
  • Refined Huntsman & Minigun recoil forces
    
  • Refined Jarate throw force
    
  • Refined Syringe Gun crit recoil forces
• Arquivos de localização atualizados
  

An update to Team Fortress 2 has been released. The update will be applied automatically when you restart Team Fortress 2. The major changes include:

• Added The Fast Learner
  
• Fixed +randommap not working correctly on server startup
  
• Fixed some instances of corrupted text when the save_replay key isn't bound
  
• Fixed dedicated server console spew related to the Replay client and viewangles
  
• Fixed a spelling error in a cp_fastlane material
  
• Fixed team colors not working correctly for the second style of the Black Rose
  
• Fixed Mann Co. Store item previews for paints and styles
  
• Updated item descriptions to contain the name of the paint used to color them
  
• Updated the Reggaelator
  • Added an LOD model
    
  • Added 3 styles
• Updated cp_dustbowl
  • Adjusted Blue team's func_respawnroom in stage 1 to be flush against the door
• 언어 파일 업데이트
  

Updates to Team Fortress 2, Day of Defeat: Source and Half-Life 2: Deathmatch have been released. The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. The major changes include:


Source Engine Changes (TF2, DoD:S, HL2:DM)

• Fixed a client crash related to dynamic model loading
  
• Fixed dedicated server not receiving restart requests when updates are released
  

Team Fortress 2

• Fixed playing incorrect sounds for The Overdose
  
• Fixed a broken Engineer animation for The Pomson 6000
  
• Fixed Steam inventory/trading not showing the correct item level for some items
  
• Fixed Steam inventory/trading sort order not matching the in-game backpack
  
• Fixed the new styles for The Brown Bomber not using team colors
  
• Fixed some clipping issues with the Warrior's Spirit
  
• Updated pl_hoodoo_final
  • Removed door frame collision to resolve bots getting stuck in the cave during stage 2

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If there's one thing we know more about than hats, it's probably romance. Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever's handy, really. And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell - it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies' faces.

Anyway, today's Valentine's Day, and that means if you're dating or married, you're going to drop somewhere in the area of $600 tonight on flowers, dinner, babysitters, hot air balloon rides, a hospital bill for rain-related holding injuries (Seattle only). It adds up fast, and you might be asking yourself at the end of the night, "Was it all worth it?" The answer, emphatically, is no. Happy Valentine's Day, stupid.

But wait! What if we told you that you could waste as much as 1/6 less money this Valentine's Day? What if we added that you could do it without even leaving your house? Then what if we sweetened the deal further by saying sorry for calling you stupid earlier?

Introducing the "Something Special For Someone Special". It's ring-shaped, it's gift-wrapped, it's basically useless, and it's really expensive ($100!). In short, it's the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine's Day gift ever made available to the public.

Here's how it works:

First, it's not tradable, only giftable. When it shows up in your special someone's backpack, they can click on it to open a menu that will let them accept your proposal. Once the proposal's been accepted, a message will be broadcast to the entire TF community that will include your name, your special someone's name, and whatever you decided to call the ring. Then presto, the gift turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear in the rain while you smooch up a storm, you crazy kids.