All of us here on the TF2 team have been asking to play Portal 2 for months now.

"Go away," the Portal guys told us. "You'll just try to put hats in it."

"Whaaattttt?" we said. "That's—psshhhh. If anything, we'll probably tell you to take some hats out of the game."

"There are no hats in the game."

After this, there was an awkward ten-minute silence while all of on the TF2 team stared at the Portal guys, waiting for them to start laughing. Instead, they just told us to go away again. That's when we realized: with so little time left before release, we couldn't afford to waste any time playing the game. We had to fix it. Now. So late last night we snuck into the Portal 2 source code and copy/pasted some hats into it.

You're welcome, Portal 2 team.

Today, we pass the fruits of our clandestine game-saving labor onto you, the hat-loving public (or as you're more commonly known, the public). If you own any of the following hats in Team Fortress 2, you'll be able to equip them on your Cooperative Testing Initiative robots in Portal 2:

• Mann Co. Cap
  
• Prince Tavish's Crown
  
• Pyro's Beanie
  
• Fancy Fedora
  
• Master's Yellow Belt
  
• Tyrant's Helm
  

If you've been on the fence up until now—and who could blame you—you've finally got a reason to buy Portal 2. Courtesy of Team Fortress 2. The best game that Valve makes with a "2" on the end.

Updates to Team Fortress 2 have been released. The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. The major changes include:

Team Fortress 2

• Fixed a server crash that could occur if TFBots were used across map changes
  
• Fixed a client crash caused by weapons with attached models
  
• Fixed a material system crash
  
• Fixed a client crash with dynamic model loading
  
• Fixed a few backpack images not drawing correctly
  
• Fixed listen servers sometimes not authenticating with Steam (not being able to use Offline Practice)
  
• Fixed the "itemtest" command
  
• Fixed players not being able to access their backpack loadout
  
• Updated the localization files
  

Updates to Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike: Source, Day of Defeat: Source and Half-Life 2: Deathmatch have been released. The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. The major changes include:

Source Engine Changes (CS:S, DoD:S, TF2, HL2:DM)

• Fixed a startup crash for some users who were unable to load client.dll
  
• Fixed a "status" command regression in the dedicated server console
  

Team Fortress 2

• Added a missing material for the Scotsman's Stove Pipe
  
• Fixed a server crash caused by the server triggering a nextlevel vote
  
• Fixed the kicking of coaches for being idle as soon as they stop coaching
  
• Fixed a coaching exploit
  

<a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/hatless"><img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/hatless.jpg" width="420" height="284" border="0"></a><

We've slaved over it. We've missed sleep, meals, and loved ones for it. We've been up countless hours perfecting it. And now, finally, we've put it aside for a few minutes to slap together <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/hatless">this update</a>.

So here it is, folks: a Team Fortress 2 100% guaranteed Hatless Update! Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to get back to our years-long quest to design the ultimate hat. "For the game?" you ask. Uhhh, sure. Now pass those sequins.

<

We've slaved over it. We've missed sleep, meals, and loved ones for it. We've been up countless hours perfecting it. And now, finally, we've put it aside for a few minutes to slap together this update.

So here it is, folks: a Team Fortress 2 100% guaranteed Hatless Update! Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to get back to our years-long quest to design the ultimate hat. "For the game?" you ask. Uhhh, sure. Now pass those sequins.

Updates to Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike: Source, Day of Defeat: Source and Half-Life 2: Deathmatch have been released. The updates will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. The major changes include:

Source Engine Changes (CS:S, DoD:S, TF2, HL2:DM)

• Fixed a packet injection exploit in the client/server streams
  
• Fixed UDP logging exploit
  
  • Added a new server convar "sv_logsecret" which emits a new S2A_LOGSTRING2 UDP packet to any UDP log targets with the secret value pre-pended
    

Team Fortress 2

• Added new map Koth_Badlands
  
• Updated CP_Well
  
  • Spawn room by second cap for each time is now a one-way door
    
• Updated Training
  
  • Added 3 new training courses for the Demoman, Engineer, and Spy
    
  • Added the Ready for Duty achievement for completing all of the training courses
    
• Added a new system to associate dedicated servers with Steam accounts
  
  • Use the ConCommand "cl_gameserver_create_identity" in the Team Fortress 2 client console to create a server account using the currently logged in Steam account. This will generate values for "tf_server_identity_account_id" and "tf_server_identity_token"
    
  • Put the values for "tf_server_identity_account_id" and "tf_server_identity_token" into your server.cfg
    
  • Use the ConCommand "cl_gameserver_list" in the Team Fortress 2 client console to list all of the game server accounts owned by the currently logged in Steam account
    
• Added a new system for coaching players
  
• Added a new vote system
  
  • Server convars to control the vote system
    
    • sv_allow_votes : Allow voting?
      
    • sv_vote_failure_timer : A vote that fails cannot be voted on again during this period.
      
    • sv_vote_allow_specators : Allow spectators to vote?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_changelevel_allowed : Allow votes to change levels?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_kick_allowed : Allow votes to kick players from the server?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_nextlevel_allowed : Allow votes to set the next level?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_nextlevel_allowextend : Allow votes to extend the current map?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_restart_game_allowed : Allow votes to restart the game?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_scramble_teams_allowed : Allow votes to scramble the teams?
      
    • sv_vote_issue_nextlevel_choicesmode : Present players with a list of maps with the lowest playtimes to choose from?
      
    • sv_vote_kick_ban_duration : How long should a kick vote ban someone from the server? (in minutes)
      
• dynamic model loading to improve performance
  
• Combat Text changes
  
  • Added a new convar "hud_combattext_healing" to display the amount of healing done per second
    
  • Added bonus points to the items displayed using Combat Text
    
  • Starting position of values is now affected by range to target, making it easier to see numbers when next to targets
    
• Updated voice to use the Steam voice codec to improve quality
  
  • Servers can toggle between the old codec and the new codec with the convar "sv_use_steam_voice", which defaults to 1.
    
• Fixed not being able to see the correct colors for painted hats when running with DX8
  
• Fixed not being able to see the | character in custom names and descriptions
  
• Fixed a couple cases where custom sprays would not import correctly
  
• Duel changes
  
  • The duel dialog has been extended to include class-specific duels in addition to the default duels
    
  • Duel badges now only show the number of wins a player has
    
• Added Payload maps to Offline Practice
  
• Fixed taunt kills made with a Katana not counting towards honorbound kills
  
• Fixed a bug where killing a Katana wielder with a Katana was incorrectly causing an increased crit chance
  
• Fixed infinite noisemakers exploit where noisemakers could continue to be used after their charges had run out
  
• Improved the Medic overheal effect so it's more noticeable
  
• Fixed func_build entities to respect the team value and prevent the associated team from building in the area
  
• Items changes:
  
  • Added new "Sort by Rarity" option for sorting backpack items
    
  • Improved the backpack sorting algorithms
    
  • Added "styles" for the Ghastlier Gibus, Scotsman's Stove Pipe, Treasure Hat, Hat of Undeniable Wealth And Respect, and the Googly Gazer
    
  • Added paint preview to the preview section when shopping for hats
    
  • Updated the Googly Gazer to be paintable
    
  • Added new paint styles to the Pyromancer's Mask
    
  • Items in the action slot won't be swapped until returning to a supply cabinet
    
  • Replaced the no-crit attribute with -25% damage on the following:
    
    • The Eyelander, The Gunslinger, The Southern Hospitality, The Powerjack (also added +20% melee vulnerability)
      
    • The Horseless Headless Horseman's Headtaker, The Ullapool Caber, The Claidheamohmor
      
  • Dalokohs Bar
    
    • Removed item cool down meter and ammo count when using the Dalokohs Bar
      
  • Fists of Steel
    
    • Increase deploy times 20%
      
    • Ranged damage reduced 40% (down from 60%)
      
  • Loch-n-Load
    
    • Damage increased by 10%
      
  • Equalizer
    
    • Tuned high-end damage range so it's no longer possible to one-shot certain classes
      
    • Suppress the medic call effect while active
      
  • Battalion’s Backup
    
    • Reduced rage generation rate by 50%
      
  • Concheror
    
    • Damage-to-health conversion increased to 35% (from 20%)
      
  • Mad Milk
    
    • Heal 60% of damage done (down from 75%)
      
  • Sun-on-a-Stick
    
    • Base damage lowered slightly but guarantees crits against burning players instead of mini-crits
      
  • Fan O’ War
    
    • Marking someone for death now lasts 15 seconds (from 10 seconds)
      
  • Flaregun
    
    • Flares always crit burning targets, regardless of range
      
  • Backburner
    
    • Removed the restriction on airblast
      
    • Ammo cost increased 150% (4 blasts at full ammo)
      
    • Damage bonus reduced to 10% (from 15%)
      
  • Sydney Sleeper:
    
    • Charge rate increased 25%
      
• Bot changes:
  
  • Added Spy TFBots. Spy bots have basic cloaking, diguising, sapping, and backstabbing behaviors now, and are ready to join the fight
    
  • TFBots understand the basics of the Payload scenario now, and will push the cart on offense, and try to stop the cart on defense
    
  • Added navigation meshes for pl_goldrush, pl_badwater, pl_upward, pl_thundermountain, and pl_hoodoo_final
    
  • Improved TFBot reactions to cloaked and/or disguised enemy Spies
    
  • Improved Demoman bot behaviors for planting sticky bomb traps
    
  • Demoman bots will now try to move to a safe spot and lob stickybombs onto enemy sentry nests to destroy them
    
  • Soldier bots switch to their shotgun after emptying their rocket launcher at close/medium range
    
  • TFBots will no longer hide from sapped or carried sentryguns
    
  • Engineer bots are better at moving their sentry gun nest as the scenario changes
    
  • Improved Sniper bot algorithm for finding good sniping spots for both Capture Point and Payload scenarios
    
  • Sniper bots will take opportunistic shots at targets while they move to their desired sniping spot
    
  • Fixed bug where Sniper bots would sometimes stand around in their spawn room doing nothing.
    
  • Improved TFBot ability to find a safe vantage spot to attack enemy sentry guns
    
  • TFBots will no longer try to use a teleporter entrance they can't actually reach
    
  • Added tf_bot_melee_only cvar. If set to 1, all TFBots will be restricted to only using their melee weapon
    

Read more about the update here: http://www.teamfortress.com/hatless

<img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/charity_number.png" width="420" height="76" border="0">

Nice work, everyone! We're excited to share that, thanks to the generosity of the TF community, in two short weeks we managed to collect
$430,543.65 for the Japanese disaster relief fund. It's been inspiring to watch gamers around the world come together for such a worthy cause.

We'd also like to give a special thanks to the good folks over at the <a href="http://www.unusualhatclub.com/forums/">Unusual Hats Club</a> for taking it upon themselves to raise an additional $3,000 through their own Hats for Help campaign.

Thanks for taking part in our charity drive, everyone! Wear your hats with pride!

Nice work, everyone! We're excited to share that, thanks to the generosity of the TF community, in two short weeks we managed to collect
$430,543.65 for the Japanese disaster relief fund. It's been inspiring to watch gamers around the world come together for such a worthy cause.

We'd also like to give a special thanks to the good folks over at the Unusual Hats Club for taking it upon themselves to raise an additional $3,000 through their own Hats for Help campaign.

Thanks for taking part in our charity drive, everyone! Wear your hats with pride!

<img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/soldier_engy.png" width="420" height="234" border="0">

Um. Hello. Is this on? Excuse please. This is first time making blog post. For babies. I am sorry. Before I sell you something, I am supposed to flatter you. So: not baby. You are all not babies. There. Done. Yes?

No? Oh kay.

Usually Soldier has baby job of talking to you through button board. He cannot come to blog today because he tells me he must accept highest honor US government can give: Jury Duty. He could not wait to go deliver his guilty hanging verdict for whatever it is criminal did, but he left seventeen page speech for me to type to you. I am not doing this.

Anyway, hats. They are new and very good for you. There are ten of them. One is bear, not hat. So nine hats and bear. Available through drops, craftings and store. Is good deal, you should buy. Moneys go to TF community members who make hats and bears. Do not wait. Get in line now for hat or bear. Have money ready because line is going to be long.

These are good words. Job is done. Where is Heavy's hat?

What?

I SAID, WHERE IS HEAVY'S HAT?

Um. Hello. Is this on? Excuse please. This is first time making blog post. For babies. I am sorry. Before I sell you something, I am supposed to flatter you. So: not baby. You are all not babies. There. Done. Yes?

No? Oh kay.

Usually Soldier has baby job of talking to you through button board. He cannot come to blog today because he tells me he must accept highest honor US government can give: Jury Duty. He could not wait to go deliver his guilty hanging verdict for whatever it is criminal did, but he left seventeen page speech for me to type to you. I am not doing this.

Anyway, hats. They are new and very good for you. There are ten of them. One is bear, not hat. So nine hats and bear. Available through drops, craftings and store. Is good deal, you should buy. Moneys go to TF community members who make hats and bears. Do not wait. Get in line now for hat or bear. Have money ready because line is going to be long.

These are good words. Job is done. Where is Heavy's hat?

What?

I SAID, WHERE IS HEAVY'S HAT?